Simple question whom in most cases would have an simple answer, but here i am without any answer, I'm like blank, stuck, confused, living life like one second lasts years without being aware of dates nor actual times, speechless for the first time. I guess I'll need more time to think about it or it to think about me in a way that i will see and feel it, as driving me or my life.
--- Dead End.
Another step Inside...
Another level of you and me,
Like one, as one body
Invisible and awkward
Daydreaming,
As if it was for real
Getting out of the fog...
Jumping back in life.
Living for yourself first
And then for the others
Even tho I'm one of them
Selfishly inflow with You
That you, inside of me
Inside of you...
Still hurting, heartless
Soulless burning
Just missing you...
Inside of me.
So be it!
I'll eat the pain
And blossom once again!
With me and you..
Daydreaming,
As if we dreamt, for real
Daydreaming a soft naked.. shadow
Of our own existence
For now that is, just blank
Just you, me and....
--Another step inside the fog.
Omg i'm so like reallllly annoyed by all these ads or wannabe "tips" for having a better relationship... i mean wtf? >.> and here are some lame examples...
"Make him Think you are the "Woman of his Dreams". or "Make her Think you are the "Men of her Dreams" wtf?... that's just plain BS!
By that time he or she already knows what you are/or mean exactly for him/her, you can't just say stuff to make people believe something which in fact it isn't like that at all, because that's basically like you're lying just for the moment to make him or her feel good and that's another crap that i don't really like because after one lie a bunch more will come to cover the first one and so on in a infinite loop of lies. I mean the people have been doing these stuff for such a long time that they forgot what is real and what's not, in fact sometimes they would prefer to be lied just so they feel better, because they can't stand the truth, but that doesn't last and sooner or later you'll see the truth and then it will hurt. But heyyy wait a sec, who is always screaming that Men are liars? oh yea ! And who's fault is that? lol i bet that doesn't count does it ? "Tell me I'm Beautiful!!" "Tell me you Love me!!"
Is there a difference for you? from being lied and wanting to be lied ? i don't see any difference's at all, it's a LIE! no matter how colorful it is!
And to give a funny example, Men's are like a dogs, the more tricks you teach him the more tricky he gets, In the end 50% its merely your fault :)
But hey that's just my opinion.
I'll start this by quoting some nice words, wrote by someone whom is defining jealousy like this...
-----
"Jealousy can be unhealthy or healthy, depending on motivation. Unhealthy jealousy stems from fear, insecurity and deception. When you feel acting out in jealousy, you need to examine the reason why you feel jealousy. Before you let jealousy creep into your chest stop, think, and discern the source of jealousy. Once you discover why you are jealous you need to deal with the issue. Jealousy is not a bad emotion/feeling."
by Lirio Y. Lomarda
-----\
And there i go now talking about what is basically the most common thing in a relationship and how That can ruin your entire relationship pretty fast(depending from case to case). Many people think that Men do act like that most of the times or they usually show off more but in my opinion the ladies are doing the most significant things after which in most cases the relationship just goes poof. And some examples, like what ladies can do when they are extremely jealous.
--- Wants to go out with you anywhere, anytime, no matter what!
(Going out with your buddies for a beer. + GF? = No fun & Awkward.)
--- Should be able to read all your messages off phone/e-mail/post mail!
(What if you and your buddies send each other kinky jokes and stupid but funny jokes about sex or anything related with such. = No Fun & Awkward.)
--- Calling you every 30/20/10/5 minutes to check where are you and what you are doing.
(What if you're in a big meeting at work and she just doesn't stop doing it, over and over again until you answer! = Extremely Annoying & Awkward!.)
--- Should be able to slap you off your shoes anytime, anywhere, no matter what!
(She doesn't care if you are dinning in a restaurant or you two are in a place crowded/full with people or just in front of your buddies, she just can't wait until you do a mistake so she can slap you since she doesn't really care how many people are around nor any, in fact the many they are the better she feels about it! = Extremely Awkward!)
--- You should never look at/nor salute/greet any other Woman while you're with her on the street!
(What if you might meet with one of your female co-workers, you just pass by and pretend you didn't even saw her? without at least saluting/greeting her just because you're with your GF? = Disrespectful & Awkward. If you do salute/greet that Female Co-worker you'll end up answering 234324 questions just to feed her jealous curiosity.)
--- Open agenda at all times for any reason even for the smallest possible things!
(She doesn't care if you wanna go out with the boys, wanna watch your fave football team match or just have some time for yourself. = WTF? O.o)
And all those were just SOME, just a small amount of examples i could think of right ATM. Now ladies why are you shocked/confused when you hear that guys are afraid of marriage? and you don't ask yourself WHY? well that's because most of you ladies don't realise any of that or at least don't see them in the same colors we do and for sure not feel them alike. Of course there are people whom "like" or accept all those examples having their own reasons like not wanting to be alone so they accept anything that can lay their hands on nor they have other options ATM.
In my opinion a Relationship should be based on Trust, of course you might say that you need time to gain that Trust, THEN wait until you get everything straight, don't just wait 1/2/3 weeks/months and then just fly in the Church in a big hurry to marry if you haven't even passed that kinda of test otherwise you're just going to a dead-end or it won't last. Another thing that should be stated when you engage into a relationship is to explain as detailed as possible your "Things", ask to have your personal space & time, otherwise if all these are not known from the start, after that it doesn't even matter anymore, that's why you need that time to talk, explain and learn to accommodate with both of your fave. things to do, before you jump to the next level, or possible the most serious like marriage.
Now a tip for the boys, at the first gimp of jealousy (of any kind) from your girl don't just take everything that comes at you and start excusing yourself like a little girl having troubles with her toys, take your girl and talk about your issues and of course try to fix them before they go any further, if you did so and nothing changes you might wanna find someone else before its too late, of course in the case of an extreme jealous person. Because if you didn't know there are plenty out there just waiting for a good man to come by, just like the girls are saying "all the good ones are taken or just g@y" :) Never forget to show who's wearing the pants and who's wearing the panties in that Relationship :) and by this I'm not talking about your fist, just remember that one word is heavier then a man's fist, in fact you ain't a man if you hit a woman, you're just another Woman or just coward, showing who's right with the fist is plain dumb or just plain stupid and while she may not even hurt (Cuz you hit like a Woman) but you'll end up in Jail, and believe me you don't wanna know what they do to you down there if they know you were sent there because you hit a Woman :) in fact for sure it less painful to take all that BS from your GF and loosing your personal space & life then just going down there!
Well i can say that i know what I'm talking about, because I've been in contact with that kind of ladies and yes sometimes the other person wants to see you being jealous because in her/his opinion that shows some kind recognition of you actually caring about her/him. But in cases of extreme jealousy its for sure nothing about love… i mean yea you’re crazy in love but you know that everyone needs their own private space, no matter you’re involved in a long term relationship or even engaged/married, none of those things matter when it comes to personal space, personal friends either boy/friends or girl/friends as in Just Friends/Buddies, doing so and showing that kinda of Extreme Jealousy its neither healthy nor helpful in a relationship, its merely ruining it piece by piece because one day, one of you will have to choose, and for sure someone will get hurt, either the actual person or his/her Friends and in my opinion that’s some kinda of cruel and selfish thing to do. So in the end i can say that a Lil bit of jealousy is good/enough but too much just ruins everything… and of course in the end, it ruins your Life.
When I'll have more time i will be adding the Men's side of Extreme Jealousy!
Now ending again by quoting the same author, just a stunning fact whom simple gives me the creeps!
-----
"People commit crime or hurt another person because of being Jealous."
by Lirio Y. Lomarda
-----\
I hope you like it, if not make sure you comment anything you dislike/disagree with!
I'm going down...
Everytime i close my eyes...
I think about it over and over,
Again...
I'm stuck in a game,
The game of life, over and over,
Again...
Because it's all in my head...
I don't know, what to know,
Anymore...
I don't think, i can think,
Anymore...
I'm going down, over and over,
Again...
Is it a real pain or just a game?
Still thinking, brainwashed...
Am i? over and over,
Again?
I don't know, what should i know
I don't think, should i think?
I'm so sick, so tired...
So bored,
Over and over again...
What about me ?
What about you ?
Nothing about us...
Lets make our own destiny.
Our own near future.
Lets forget The Past
And live The Future.
Killed his own soul.
Loved his own mind.
Simply going down...
Enjoying the Silence!
-
I am ...
Something in a sea full of light and dark
I'm something and i'm hurt,
But smiling...
In a sea full of light and dark feelings.
To be continued --In another brain.
What can i say, the movie is a pretty masterpiece made with simple tools which exactly shows that you don't need alot of equipment nor effects to make a movie look good, its enough to have a great story and great actors, that will make the movie to be interesting. It's marely showing the colors off two people's life, but ya noe everyone is seeing stuff differently and ofcourse in other gama's :)
And the songs i like, some are also in the movie and the others are from The Frames band or duets of Glen Hansard ft Marketa Irglova..
Well that's enough i guess, you can find more on YouTube, search query "Once, Glen Hansard, Marketa Irglova".
A few words about Perfection! Perfect People Aka Soul Mates!
Some time ago, not too long ago it was like yesterday but only the year before this one. After being friends for years with this girl, one day we meet again on the street, i was in a rush to get home from work and there she was walking towards me on the street, at the bit of the second i saw her, it was like she was walking in slow motion(ya Noe like in the movies:)... you know that feeling when you're body almost starts shivering, those butterflies.. that was the moment when i had fallen in love... in a second, but that second for me was like hours passing by, it was just mind blowing.
So we sat there in the middle of the street talking for like 5 minutes about simple stuff so simple that i almost remember every word, and we agreed to talk later on, online to share whats new on both sides and how life is going. We were online chatting like crazy for hours... don't even remember how many, BUT plenty even till morning. The next day she asked me if i wanna go for a walk later on, and the evening came so there we were walking beside Danube River.. it was getting dark and now everything looks even better at night, all those lights, we walked allot even tho i haven't felt my legs hurting or anything (wonder why:P) and somehow we were both starring at the moon at the same time, it was so beautiful.. and its reflections on the water were the same. So there we were holding in each others arms, watching the moon.. the water... it was so calm, even tho before that every single corner was crowded with people... lovers.. noisy kids.. families walking by.. also allot of music from many different places that varied in types, but in that moment when we were holding in each others arms it was like everyone and everything simply vanished, surprisingly the moon was getting bigger or at least that was the effect shown on the water, its glittering reflections were so astonishing that you were merely hypnotised, we were staring at the sky, from time to time you could hear our wishers.. "isn't that beautiful" / "indeed it is" / "are you cold?" / "no I'm fine thanks" and we just sat there for hours talking about life and many others.
And yet again another day just passed by and the day when she had to leave came so fast.. that i was so disappointed i didn't even know what to do next... after i got home it was almost 3 o'clock in the morning and i couldn't sleep anymore... it was like my mind was left behind, back there and my body was at home, at least that makes sense. So she left (in another country) the next day and yet again we agreed to keep in touch online, but ya Noe everything goes well for a while but then you start missing so much and it hurts... she was for me "that missing piece" that "Perfect for you" that Soul Mate or w/e you wanna call it, we had so many things in common that i was thinking she's a clone of mine but with a different gender :) Yes a hilarious joke but pretty much true. To just jump over and get to the actual point of this blog entry, we were able to be together 3 days off/at 3-4 months or at least when she could come, she was in school so it was pretty hard to just leave and fly to me, so she was coming only in school's vacations. Even tho there was that big big distance between us, even tho online wasn't that great as for real, we tried, at least i know i tried to make it work, so it did work for a while until she had to move to US, that's merely another level of distance that can't be solved easily. So even tho i found it, that missing piece and everything was great, i couldn't have it so i believe it was either faith or just life that sucked up that single dream i had to be vanished. So in the end it doesn't really matter how many frogs you kiss 'till that missing piece comes into your life and it doesn't matter for how much time cuz its worth it, because in most cases it doesn't last, but hopefully for others even with that small chance, maybe others will be more lucky at keeping their so called Soul Mate close and never let go. Because it's hard if not VERY HARD to find it, but when you do find it, do not cage it just keep it close, as close as possible and as much as possible, if not forever.
But what's more important is the fact that just dreaming about it, won't just pop the person out of the blue for you to have it, like i said you have to kiss allot of frogs 'till that happens, and I'm sure you won't regret any of that because after each frog you kiss, you'll learn something, about others... about you and what exactly is that you want, otherwise you'll keep in your head the image of that Shining Knight coming at you on a white horse 'till you'll get old enough to give up and accept anything that comes by no matter you like it or not, just because you don't wanna be lonely for the rest of your life. Like I've said its your job to find it cuz it won't just pop up at your door one day just because you feed yourself with all those dreams. And yes life can be cruel, life can turn everything against you, but if you are on top you will be always on top. But if you'll waste your time suffering or even allowing yourself to suffer, its just a waste, a big waste of your own self and time which is life in other words. Because anyway anyhow that dream is real, that person exists but if you just compare past with future and person with person you will never be able to find it.
Because that missing piece, that Soul Mate, in fact it lays inside of anyone but you won't be able to see it even if its right beside you/in front of you, if you are not prepared. To find it you will have to be able to see other people defects as qualities, and have lower expectations, otherwise with high hopes and high expectations you will miss it for sure. Everything lies into simple things, so simple that its merely silly, its nothing euphoric, extraordinary nor anything like such. It's just another person like any other that in her/his simple ways of doing things, moves you, makes you feel surprisingly good, makes you feel like a real Man/Woman but that's about it, it isn't anything else then just pure feelings, passion and straight love out of two bodies and two souls united as one. Other issues about Soul Mates that change your way of thinking for allot of time is that not every time the feelings are mutual and not in all cases its 50/50, while for you it might be the perfect one, you might not be for the other person, so yea you can't rush love, you'll have to work hard to earn it and even so it doesn't work all the times.
The second issues whom merely has the same importance, do not take shortcuts... even tho at that moment it might seem to be right later on you'll end up feeling the differ, and this is about Sex, yes that's right, i know men do have needs but if you keep your mind occupied with other stuff and keep in mind that rushing things almost every time ruins everything, you'll get to feel and see that a kiss is enough, a hug is enough, a simple touch is enough and for sure when THE time comes you'll know it (both of you) that right time when both feel the Need to go further, to the next level. If you didn't knew premature sex can ruin a relationship or just it won't last, so the more you wait the more enjoyable it will be when it happens, and I'm not saying that you shouldn't have sex, its just a period of time when both people have to connect, have to have feelings and only after that you will Make Love, otherwise its purely sex and that's just about it, sooner or later one of you will get bored and will want something New, cuz DA! that's about everything you can offer, if you give all from the start eventually you won't have anything else to discover, its like a flower with a short life once it blossoms you have to take care of it otherwise it will die.
So those two are very important, the sex and the feelings are both important in a relationship, but when one fails to work the problems come... even tho both issues can be worked out, many just choose to move on without wasting their time to work on their problems, and that's why you see so many couples falling apart :) why to work it when you can get a new one you say ? well in fact both require almost the same amount of time but everything lays in people choices, and of course many times they do realise long time after if it was a good or a bad choice. Hope this would be helpful for all the people out there that are looking for something like this or similar to such called Soul Mate.
I hope you like it, if not make sure you comment anything you dislike/disagree with!
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